Ten Commandments
Commandment 1 . Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are  thunder and lightning. Commandment 2  If you want your wife to listen and pay strict  attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
 
Commandment 3.  Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!
 
Commandment 4.  Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of  marriage, the Man Speaks and the woman listens. In the second year,  the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both  speak and the neighbors listen.
 
Commandment 5. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you  can be sure of One Thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
 Commandment 6. Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The  trouble starts When They try to decide which one.
 
Commandment 7.  Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night  thinking about Something You say. After marriage, he will fall asleep  before you finish.
 
Commandment 8.  Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding,  economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
Commandment 9.  Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That  is why the wife treats the husband like toxic waste.
Commandment 10. A man is incomplete until he is married. After that,  he is finished.
 
Bonus Commandment story. A long married couple came upon a wishing  well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The  husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then  smiled and said "Wow! This stuff really Works!"






 
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